wanting that dream to come true

these past couple of days, i find myself very confused and yet knowing what i have to do. but if i just scream it out, would it have any affect? would i get atleast a smile from my cry? or better yet, get the same scream back like i so badly want? after so long, why do i find things different and have the sudden urge to scream it out, i don't know.. i guess, it's one of those things that can't be explained. all i know is, i just want to scream it out.

i don't know what's happening with everything and i do not know why second chances were given even though it wasn't deserved at all. i guess i should just let mistakes be made and i just keep scratching my head.. although i find it intriguing that it was admitted to be a mistake and yet, still let it continue..

so now, what's stopping me from screaming it out?

1. i'm leaving soon (although, it won't bother me that much.)
2. the mistake
3. putting it into words
4. jeopardising a treasured friendship

i think no. 3 isn't much of a problem. dashboard confessional's song hit it right on.

i know what i need to do but confused as to actually do it or not. i just need a sign. a simple one and i'll scream it out. but til then, i'll just shine in a dream and hopefully you'll hear my screams.